Gold Nugget Coaching

Last time I showed you how to spot your “life-limiting negative self assessments that drag you down.” They are a form of self-sabotage that can get in the way of your career advancement, erode job satisfaction, deepen middlescence doldrums and, in fact, undermine every aspect of your life.

If you’re thinking, “That’s not me, I don’t do that.” Perhaps you don’t. But if that’s the case, you’d be defying the odds and about 3,000 years of evolution!

So let’s look at how you can deal with the potentially devastating effects of negative self assessments.

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I was leading one of my regular group coaching calls recently in a conversation about how we sabotage ourselves without even realizing it. Self sabotage can undermine any or all of the things that are most important to you, such as relationships, jobs, careers, financial well being, physical health, and more. It can definitely worsen middlesence doldrums.

And it often happens without your even being aware of it. It can just feel like life sucks and you don’t know why. You just wish it would be different. Well things can be different if you just stop sabotaging yourself. And one way to do this is through language.

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There are times when we get so overwhelemed with a problem that we can’t seem to find our way out. I often see this when people are worried about a problem or situation that’s important to them, such as a challenge at work, their career, or in their personnel life.

Just when you most want to see things clearly, your thoughts just go around and around: What if this happens? What if that happens? What if I do X and they do Y? What if they do A and B and I do J, K and L?  On and on it goes.

Many times, you wind up even more frustrated and confused than when you started, and mentally exhausted. Here’s an easy and invaluable tool you can use to cut through all that mental chatter, CALM DOWN, and tap into your own wisdom.

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You can super-charge your career like magic. Are you skeptical about that?

OK. Imagine that we’re together in your kitchen. What would you say if I told you I can make a glass of water rise up from the table, travel through the air, move across room, and be deposited into my hand, without spilling a drop, and without me budging an inch?

What do you have to say about that, really?

• “Impossible!”
• “Dr. Steve is incredible; he can do anything.” (only kidding)
• “Yeah sure! I can’t wait to see it happen.”

What is your reaction?

Take 10 to 20 seconds to think about it and then continue on.

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The burned-out feeling that many mid-career workers are experiencing has been given a name: “middlescence” (see March 2006 Harvard Business Review, “Managing Middlescence” by Robert Morison, Tamara Erickson, and Ken Dyctwald). If you’re in the throes of middlescence, it may feel like an overwhelming malaise or a deep downward spiral.

There are definitely things you can do to break the malaise or spiral but, admittedly, many of the remedies can take asome time and commitment. However, I propose that there is one amazingly simple—and incredibly healthy—thing you can start doing immediately to break out of the middlescence rut.

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